Making Indians healthy: RBI to launch trauma-informed money

This historic decision would go a long way in making India a trauma-informed economy: PM Modi

MUMBAI, SEPTEMBER 10: In a landmark move to boost the mental health of Indians, the Reserve Bank of India announced the launch of trauma-informed money here on Saturday.

Announcing the decision in an unscheduled press conference at the RBI headquarters, Governor Shaktikanta Das said the trauma-informed money would significantly reduce the mental health issues of Indians. The RBI would replace the entire currency currently in circulation with the trauma-informed currency. Das said that not only cash but electronic money lying in bank accounts would also be made trauma-informed.

He informed that the RBI had instructed all banks and other financial institutions in the country to upgrade their systems and train the employees to deal with trauma-informed money.

Explaining the rationale behind the far-reaching measure, Das stated that about 15% of Indians live with mental illness, with almost half of them suffering from depressive and anxiety disorders. “The research by public health experts on the socio-economic determinants of health has shown that income and wealth play a major role in living a healthy life. The lack of money is the root cause of trauma, and, as a Cornell University-trained psychotherapist stated, trauma is the root of all mental health problems. Therefore, making money trauma-informed could significantly reduce the cases of mental disorders,” he said.

The decision of the RBI immediately received widespread appreciation from around the globe.

In a tweet, Prime Minister Narendra Modi praised the move and termed it a paradigm shift. He said that the historic decision of the RBI would go a long way in making India a trauma-informed economy.

Finance Minister Nirmala Sitharaman stated that the landmark decision would save trillions of rupees as financial costs related to mental health would drop.

Federal Reserve Chairman Jerome Powell said that after Unified Payments Interface, it was the second economy-transforming innovation to come out of India, adding that he was setting up a committee to explore how this idea could be implemented in the US. European Central Bank president Christine Lagarde too has reportedly initiated the process of forming such a committee. The developers and promotors of cryptocurrencies such as Bitcoin and Ethereum were also seen scrambling to develop their trauma-informed versions. “The trauma-informed cryptocurrencies shall allow the new generation of investors to grow trauma-informed wealth, and that definitely looks like a must-have for healthy manifestations!” a crypto enthusiast said.

In a joint statement, all the leading mental health organisations of the world, including the American Psychological Association and the American Psychiatric Association, recommended that all countries switch to trauma-informed money for the betterment of their citizens.

Several mental health experts supported the RBI move on social media. They said that in an era where trauma is only accepted in safe spaces of pop therapists and their social media accounts, trauma-informed currency shall allow one to access mental health care even without qualified professionals. “It is not just currency, but real mental health empowerment!” one said.

In an Instagram post, a trauma-informed money coach wrote, “when you get money, you feel happy, and when you don’t have it, you feel sad. But with trauma-informed money, you would not feel anything and your mood would stay normal. Therefore, without money also, you will feel no sadness and stress now.”

“It is like Buddha’s Enlightenment has entered the money. Poverty would no longer cause depression and anxiety disorders!” another Instagram therapist exclaimed.

Disclaimer: In case it was not obvious, the article is a piece of satire.